Thai massages are not for the unflexible

ON Friday we went to the department of traditional medicine and learned a little about herbs and even put together an aroma therapy ball. They then gave us 30min massages that cost around $5. It was part of the experience so I had to pay. In Thai massage they massage along the "energy lines" of your body which turns out to be your major nerves. It actually is pretty painful. The lady who was giving me my massage was laughing the whole time as was I for a couple of reasons. First of all I am very tickelish on my feet, thighs and armpits, I couldn't stop laughing. Second of all, I cant touch my toes so when she tried to stretch me out, my whole body would move. It was quite a sight and other massage therapists came over and were laughing at me too. I don't think that I will ever get one again, although it did relax me quite a bit.That night we went to Pat Pong which is the "high class" red light district at a bar. They had great Pad Thai. They had a midnight market and went shopping. Some people in our group went to a show where a woman would shoot a ping pong ball and darts that would pop balloons out of her woman parts.(This is I guess famous tourist attraction, most people say they are throughly disgusted). I felt that would be way too traumatizing to see and would probably prevent me from getting married, so I opted out with a group of other students. While we were waiting at an outdoor table, this drunk 70 year old woman kissed her hand and than put on my cheek. I just laughed. 5 minutes later she rested her head on my shoulder and puckered her lips for about 2 minutes. We laughed so hard, and got some funny pictures. That night a group of us went to the clubs in Bangkok and had a great time. They were probably the poshist clubs I had ever been to and most crowded. However, it was really safe; I thought that I would have to hold onto my wallet and camera(which I did) but with all of those people around us, no one tried to pick pocket any of us.Early the next morning, we took a flight to northern Thailand to Chang Mai. It is a really friendly city and we are staying in a great hotel in front of the midnight market. We went to a bunch of shops of teak, jewelry, and silk all of things that were out of my price range and so I sat while other people shopped. We then went to a Hmong village on top of the mountain surrounding the city. There were a bunch of naked kids running around and some traditional shops. It had an incredible view of the valley.We then went to a Buddhist temple, Dai Suchet which was on the base of a cliff. When we got there, there were a bunch of monks chanting and it was getting dark. One of the monks gave me a blessing. He chanted prayers and sprinkled water on me. He also tied a string around my wrist for good luck. I then used these prayer sticks to tell my fortune, and I guess the blessing worked because my fortune came out that I would have fortune in life and love in the future and just be patient. I am bringing this fortune home for mom.Today we went to the elephant park. It was awesome! We went for a 30 min elephant ride which was pretty intense. They aren't as smooth as horses. They are the coolest animals. They had around 40 elephants at this place. It wasn't a zoo with them in cages, they were roaming around. They had a show where they had taught the elephants to play soccer, play harmonicas, and paint pictures that were actually really good. They painted trees, flowers, and even a picture of an elephant. It was incredible that they had that kind of dexterity with their trunks. The paintings were being sold at $50 and up (which is the Guiness Book World record of most expensive paintings painted by an elephant)We also went to an orchid farm. All of the flowers have to be hanging in the air with water underneath. THe roots don't reach the water, they absorb nutrients and water in the air.Well, I have to go eat again. The food here is too good. Eating is one of the best parts of the trip.